What Does Resolution Involve?

Resolution for living without children represents the opportunity to enter into a world of possibilities. There’s a reinvigoration of connections with people and the self. You may begin to feel yourself again, as so often your life and personal needs have been put on hold in your passionate pursuit of parenthood. As this realization sinks in, a huge sense of liberation and relief often is released.

With this release, you may feel comfort in knowing that many people move through and beyond their grief over the loss of a life hoped for. Like many others, you may shift your energy to forge pathways on other things that fulfill a purpose in life, such as your personal passions, meaningful work, travelling, and your family, friends, and community.

By shifting your perspective on life, you will begin to realize that your sense of vitality as a person can get passed on to one person, or it can get passed on to the world and the culture in a variety of ways. One woman said, “I used to think that the only way it really made a difference that you were here on earth is to have children. I don’t think that anymore. There are lots of paths.”

In accepting a life without children, you learn to live your life looking forward rather than looking back. With emotional resolution, you can look forward to life beyond childlessness with happiness, content, peace, and acceptance.

For some, the emotional resolution leads to a spiritual expansion. One woman expressed this transition, “When I wanted a child, I thought that the emotional tie with a child was the only route to deep happiness and human connection. It is one way, probably the most common way. But it’s only one way. We can create others.”

Our heart’s journey often teaches us that our life’s dream of “family” can take on many forms. When you’re young, you may dream that you’ll reach all of your goals. In midlife, you face your dashed hopes and dreams, which could range from your anticipated family, your career, or your overall accomplishments in life. You grieve these losses and try to accept your life as it is, making peace with your life and yourself.