Tips for Supporting Your Friends who are TTC

This looks different for everyone. For some, it can be choosing to not host a baby shower, but still attend. For others, being surrounded by baby items and diapers feels overwhelmingly sad, and they may choose to respond "no" to these invitations. You may also need space from family members who are constantly asking when you plan to get pregnant. Whatever boundaries feel healthy for you, recognize that your mental health matters, and know that you can still be a good friend while setting healthy expectations for yourself.

Talk with your spouse, partner, or a therapist about the feelings you are having while struggling to conceive. It is natural to feel sad, disappointed, confused, heartbroken, mad, etc about infertility. If you feel comfortable, even share with your friends that you're going through a difficult time and that it's hard to be around others who are pregnant. They may not realize the struggles you are going through and may choose to be more empathetic moving forward if they better understand your feelings.

Understand that what you are going through is a natural part of grieving a loss. The way you feel does not make you a bad person or a bad friend, just human. Treat yourself to what makes you happy, especially after difficult appointments or news. You matter - with or without a baby - so take gentle care of yourself throughout the process.

The reality is that your friend’s life, body and well, everything is changing. This is likely an all-consuming topic for them. One that may be extremely triggering for you or anyone who is struggling to become (or stay) pregnant. So, what do you do when the topic inevitably comes up? Be honest. Let your friend know that this is hard for you and because it is a painful subject and it’s best to shift the conversation to something else.

There are peaks and valleys to grief. Meet yourself where you are in that moment. If you are in a place where pregnancy announcements, baby pictures, and bump photos feel like emotional darts straight to your heart. It may be time for a social media detox. Social media can be a landmine of triggers. Ask yourself, is “the scroll” causing more sadness than joy? If so, it’s OK to unplug and take a detox from it all until you feel like you are in a better place.